Sunday, April 10, 2011

How Much Mayhem Can a Toddler Cause in 5 Minutes?

A Breathe-Right Nasal Strip commercial last night immediately brought to mind the most creative, destructive, and hysterical mayhem we've seen from our children yet.  In under 5 minutes, no less.

This story goes back a few years, and it involves our older child, Bug.  I'm firmly convinced a mother can sense the personality of her child in the womb.  Pie is our sunshine girl who rarely upsets the apple cart.  She curled up peacefully in a little ball for nine months and arrive a few days early with little commotion.  Bug stretched and kicked and punched and resisted every step of the way, until the doctor had to yank her out.  She still goes through life fighting.

So when Pie was a few months old, my mom came over to watch the girls so that Bobby and I could get out for awhile.  When we returned home, Mom told us that she put the baby down first, so that she could spend a little time with Bug.

"Um, what was Bug doing while you were rocking the baby to sleep?"

"Oh, I told her to play quietly."

"You mean you didn't find something for her to do?  Turn the TV on?"

"Oh, no.  It only took about 5 minutes.  But she did say that she needed a Band-aid, so she got one for herself."

Bobby and I looked at each other.  We keep the Band-aids on the top shelf of the linen closet.  Something wasn't right.  We thanked mom, and sent her home.

Upstairs, we found a trail of nose strip wrappers leading to Bug's room.  We checked her leg, which reportedly had the boo-boo.  It was covered, and I mean COVERED, in nose strips.  Now remember, these things are supposed to be strong enough to hold your nasal passages open.  And at that moment, there were about 10 of them gripping the soft, fine, hair on a 2 year old's leg.

So we headed back to our bathroom to check out the vanity, where we were pretty sure she obtained the "Band-Aids."  There was something odd...

She had applied foaming facial cleansing cream to the door jamb, and in each spot, stuck an emery board, so that it jutted out into the bedroom.  And a tube of pink Orajel was opened on the floor.

I think we collapsed in tears at that point.

But the fun didn't stop there.  You see, (and this might be too much information), Bug had some problems when she was little that required the use of suppositories.  Not a pleasant production.  She was not a fan of the "poopy cream."  While we were examining her leg, we noticed her stuffed animals were suspiciously tousled.

She had applied "poopy cream" - in this case, the pink Orajel - to all of her stuff animals in the derierre region, and covered each spot with a Breathe-Right nasal strip.

Bobby said Cookie Monster never looked the same after that.

And THAT'S how much mayhem a toddler can create in 5 minutes.


  1. OMG!!! That is hysterical!!!! She will die of embarrassment when she is older (which will be great fun for you guys Im sure ;)

  2. I could kick myself for not taking pictures!