Little Monsters

Somewhere around May or early June, I begin a planning session that could rival a small military operation.  School's on its way out, and I'll have a 3 year old and a 6 year old on my hands for three long months.  Many of you may be familiar with my calendar that lists every free activity in a 20-mile radius.  Any given week, we've got a variety of options.  I plan out our week on Sunday night, noting the activities we MIGHT want to attend if we get ourselves out of bed in time.  Needless to say, it's a very fluid agenda.  We have room for fun and room for being lazy.

So why are my kids such ungrateful little monsters?

Yeah, I know it's the age.  But last week, we played BINGO at the local library, which was generous enough to provide prizes for everyone.  We went to the pool with friends.  We had lunch out twice.  We went bowling.  We had a playdate at a friend's house.  I think they acknowledged that they had fun, but I also battled: "Can we go to Sonic for slushies?" (immediately after lunch at Jimmy John's); "I only won ONCE and that girl won THREE times" (at the totally rigged BINGO game).  "Can we go to the pool agaiiin?"

I had decided against enrolling them in any camps this summer.  But now, I think we could all use the space.  At least, I could use some space.  And let a paid counselor deal with the whining.

I almost sold our copy of "1-2-3 Magic" at our yard sale, but something told me to hang on to it.  Maybe it was the blurb that mentioned badgering.  The book comes highly recommended by our friend Aidan up the street.  When I was scolding Bug during carpool one day last Spring, Aidan told me to count to three, like that book his mom uses when he doesn't behave.  He offered to let me borrow it.  Thanks, Aidan, we'll just dig up our copy.

I don't think we spare OR spoil our kids.  They don't get the latest and greatest, and we often tell them no.  But we'll also take them out for a spur of the moment ice cream cone, or get them a DVD they might like when it's not a birthday or holiday.  Do we continue the little treats every once in awhile or strip everything back completely?  Does it make a difference?

Has summer been rough on you, too?  How have you handled your little monsters? 

"You can't be serious."

"Is that all I get?"

How Much Mayhem Can a Toddler Cause in 5 Minutes?

A Breathe-Right Nasal Strip commercial last night immediately brought to mind the most creative, destructive, and hysterical mayhem we've seen from our children yet.  In under 5 minutes, no less.

This story goes back a few years, and it involves our older child, Bug.  I'm firmly convinced a mother can sense the personality of her child in the womb.  Pie is our sunshine girl who rarely upsets the apple cart.  She curled up peacefully in a little ball for nine months and arrive a few days early with little commotion.  Bug stretched and kicked and punched and resisted every step of the way, until the doctor had to yank her out.  She still goes through life fighting.

So when Pie was a few months old, my mom came over to watch the girls so that Bobby and I could get out for awhile.  When we returned home, Mom told us that she put the baby down first, so that she could spend a little time with Bug.

"Um, what was Bug doing while you were rocking the baby to sleep?"

"Oh, I told her to play quietly."

"You mean you didn't find something for her to do?  Turn the TV on?"

"Oh, no.  It only took about 5 minutes.  But she did say that she needed a Band-aid, so she got one for herself."

Bobby and I looked at each other.  We keep the Band-aids on the top shelf of the linen closet.  Something wasn't right.  We thanked mom, and sent her home.

Upstairs, we found a trail of nose strip wrappers leading to Bug's room.  We checked her leg, which reportedly had the boo-boo.  It was covered, and I mean COVERED, in nose strips.  Now remember, these things are supposed to be strong enough to hold your nasal passages open.  And at that moment, there were about 10 of them gripping the soft, fine, hair on a 2 year old's leg.

So we headed back to our bathroom to check out the vanity, where we were pretty sure she obtained the "Band-Aids."  There was something odd...

She had applied foaming facial cleansing cream to the door jamb, and in each spot, stuck an emery board, so that it jutted out into the bedroom.  And a tube of pink Orajel was opened on the floor.

I think we collapsed in tears at that point.


But the fun didn't stop there.  You see, (and this might be too much information), Bug had some problems when she was little that required the use of suppositories.  Not a pleasant production.  She was not a fan of the "poopy cream."  While we were examining her leg, we noticed her stuffed animals were suspiciously tousled.

She had applied "poopy cream" - in this case, the pink Orajel - to all of her stuff animals in the derierre region, and covered each spot with a Breathe-Right nasal strip.

Bobby said Cookie Monster never looked the same after that.

And THAT'S how much mayhem a toddler can create in 5 minutes.

Registering for Kindergarten, or: Three Years of Indecision Put to Rest

Today was a big day.  We registered Bug for kindergarten!  I'm not completely falling apart, although I did take it kind of hard when Pie, having newly reached the ripe old age of 3, told me this morning that she was going to be a grown-up soon, and that (with hands thrown up in the air) she wouldn't be living here anymore.  After careful consideration, she did promise to visit.

Back to my kindergartner, and why I'm not falling apart (yet).  Bug turned 5 in the fall, 2 weeks before this year's registration cut-off.  That means she could be in kindergarten now, and we'd be preparing for first grade next year.  Now that I'm a mom, I hear of other moms planning births so that their kids have a leg up in school.  The thought never entered my mind with either of my kids, but I soon figured out that with my oldest, we had some decisions to make.

Had I sent her this year, she'd be the youngest in the class.  We had constant communication with her preschool teacher last year on Bug's progress.  In the beginning of the year, her fine motor skills were behind.  Toward the middle of the year, she was having some socialization issues with kids that were up to 10 months older.  At the end of the year, the prognosis changed and her teacher suggested that she might be ready by fall after all.

We researched.  A lot.  We heard the cliche, "You never regret holding them back, but sometimes regret sending them ahead."  Bobby read Outliers, by Malcolm Gladwell, and had visions of Bug playing pro hockey (not really, but most pro hockey players were born in January because those players were the oldest - and often biggest - in their youth leagues).  I talked to a trusted friend, a former kindergarten teacher, who told me she thought kids should be at least 5 before getting on that bus.  And that we'd see the difference in the middle and high school years. 

But while we can hope for more maturity in middle and high school, she's likely to be taller than everyone else for quite some time (her mother certainly was).  That's tough.  And she IS ready academically.  So we considered the other side of the story.  We heard success stories from friends that sent their kids ahead early.  I listened to other moms who were contemplating the same issue, except a year behind us.  I often heard, "Well, my kid is READY,"  and felt a little put out, because I wasn't really considering holding Bug back for academic reasons.  She started reading when she was 4, without any help from us.  Comments like those made me feel that my kid was inferior somehow, when I knew she wasn't.  I had to put those feelings aside and try to figure out what was the best option for her.

Finally, after a long and arduous decision-making process, we decided to keep her back.  It's not because we want to give her an advantage academically.  What tipped the scales in favor of her being the oldest?  I looked at her set of friends that are in kindergarten this year, and those that will go next year, and determined that although she adores both sets, ultimately, she's more of a confident leader among those a few months younger versus a few months older.  And perhaps promoting that confidence is the best thing we can do for her.

So today we filled out our forms, and then toured the school, checking out the art room, the cafeteria, and the kindergarten classrooms.  We looked for her friends' names on the wall, those that started kindergarten this year, and talked about all the kids she knows that will be going to school with her next year.  She's sad about leaving her preschool, but I explained that her preschool doesn't have a class that will teach all she needs to learn next year, and that her teachers have worked hard to get her ready to learn more and more.

I couldn't imagine putting her on the bus at 4 years old last year, and having her away from me all day.  But the separation isn't going to be as difficult this fall, I think.  She's truly ready now - her teachers say she's a different kid this year - and I couldn't be more proud of her.

Some points for those of you struggling with the same question:

The metro area's kindergarten registration information brochure lists the following milestones for kindergarten readiness:

• A variety of quality learning experiences
• Comfortable with children their own age and get along with them
• Able to communicate and interact effectively with adults
• Have basic life needs met so they can put their energy into learning

I remember reading recently that most parents expect kids to know letters and numbers before kindergarten, while most teachers just want the kids to be able to behave socially, sit quietly, pay attention and have an interest in learning.

An article from Richmond Magazine presents different angles, too.

So there are lots of advantages and disadvantages to the debate.  I guess I'm seeing the advantages of waiting, but really, it's an individual choice for each individual kid.